Today we said goodbye to the final survivor: our last living hermit crab. The 3rd one died last week and this last one was sulking around the corners, hiding in its shell. I’ve had to read up on these leggy creatures — because they keep dying on us — and have learned that they are “communal,” needing each other for company.

Because I am also a communal being my heart went out to lonely Crab #4 and I had to brainstorm a rescue plan. Long story short, we found it a home with a 13-year old boy who happens to love hermit crabs and already has himself a lone hermit crab — so now these two can commune together. I feel much better about it and Ewan didn’t seem affected by it (he didn’t attach himself to these last two after loosing the first two), though - he wanted pictures with it before it left so that he could remember it.

I know we have a lot of goodbyes ahead of us later this year. I wish all of them could be that easy — just snap a photo and move on…. I’m not sure what it’s going to be like, to say “goodbye” and know I’m saying goodbye to more than just people. I’ll be saying goodbye to my little community here. I’ve recently found myself really relishing my time with my good friends, I believe, in anticipation of possibly not having those sorts of connections (as easily) overseas. There will be days in Austria that I sulk in the corner, I’m sure… but I’m also being challenged now to really believe, and not give just lip service to, that God is Lord over my future relationships, my good, our kid’s good, our housing, the timing of our transition out, etc. The list is long and my belief is sometimes short-lived. God, help me in my unbelief. Only You can meet me here.

Today, nine years ago, I married the woman of my dreams. We put on our best attire and made a commitment to each other that we never could keep in our strength. Nine years later, we are more in love and more realistic about what it means to do life together.  Today, I lift my coffee cup to the woman who is helping me grow to be the man and father that Jesus is calling me to be.  To you Jodie I say, “May Jesus give us many more years to learn to love and stumble through this world together for the Kingdom’s sake and our good.”

The stress level here isn’t any higher than it’s been for the last 15 months… of living in transition… while living with the in-laws…. in a “new” area…. while working towards moving to Europe. You know, just some everyday stuff, you know? Anyhow, recently my ability to deal with the existing stress has been Bad Bad Bad — so I was convicted that I need to start disciplining myself (Jeff is in on this too) to exercise regularly (as opposed to my normal irregularly) as part of looking at my heart, mind, body and soul — and how those things are interacting with my circumstances right now. I’m too lazy to share anything more than just the body part right now — the others are too messy.

Some of you may know that I am, indeed, a runner. Once a runner, always a runner, sort of. Just an older version in a bigger sports bra and longer shorts. Anyhow, I ran track and cross country in high school. It was a big part of my life for some years — and my #1 connector with my dad (he was also a runner in his youth). How much of it was for him? Much of it, if I’m honest. But I’m so glad he encouraged me, that he ran the last stretch of the horrid 400 meter with me from the sideline, and saw my giftedness in running fast.

When I lace up my sneakers now I’m SO very aware that I’m old — my legs aren’t as peppy because I’m carrying about 30 more pounds than I was in high school. And I don’t have to tell any of you that exercise takes on a whole new meaning when you’re older — it’s for different purposes now and hence, I’m running and walking again regularly — leaving me less time for other recreational things. So next time you’re wondering where a new blog entry is, imagine me in this track uniform, weighing in at about 105 pounds, lucky to not be blown over by the wind — and remember that I’m probably out attempting a run for the good of us all….

Happy 9 Years, Jeffrey!  We’re no less awkward now than we were on our wedding day - all dressed up and trying to figure what it meant to be a bride & groom for a day, knowing it was just the beginning.

I’m happy to awkwardly fumble through this life with you!

I don’t have an addiction to coffee, rather it’s a love of mine. This short article reinforces my need to drink more coffee. Click here to read it.

Ask Liesl. She knows.

Our son has come a LOOOOONG way. From screaming for YEARS when left without mommy, from crying when one drop of water hit his face, from “playing it safe” for most of his 5 years — now to in the past few months he has shed that coat of cautiousness and is now plunging down water slides, riding roller coasters, going into uncertain situations with confidence, and last week he asked me to remove the training wheels from his bike.  It’s as if he’s learning to walk all over again — that’s how proud we feel.  A very fun 5th birthday milestone!

It’s no wonder that I have hair issues… My sister Kari, at this moment, is bombarding my Gmail inbox with YouTube videos of old Jem and the Holograms episode clips & songs. This high-class cartoon series came out in ‘85, so I was about 8 years old - a prime age for idolizing cheesy pop figures. Jem’s alter-ego was an everyday girl named Jerrica (what a great 80’s name), who, upon touching her earrings, was magically transformed into the truly outrageous Jem.

Is anyone else out there a Jem Girl? Truly outrageous, glamor, fashion and fame? That’s a Jem Girl. Jem!

Countless times each day I look down and this is my view. Not too bad, if I say so myself. Yes, a little chaos. A little ingested bubble solution. A little pretend chest & facial hair. But these two faces remind me of so many good things.

]]> http://mcmullen.wordpress.com/2008/06/09/my-view/feed/ mcmullen http://mcmullen.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/long-time-no-blog/ http://mcmullen.wordpress.com/2008/06/04/long-time-no-blog/#comments Wed, 04 Jun 2008 20:00:30 +0000 mcmullen http://mcmullen.wordpress.com/?p=501

I’m sure there’s a flow chart somewhere that I belong on titled: Phases of Leaving One’s Present Reality. There has definitely been a major change for me over the past two weeks and I’ve been mentally absent from blogging.

For reasons I can’t quite put my finger on, the realness of actually moving overseas has hit me hard recently — maybe it’s because we were away from here, our “home” for a while and I felt uprooted for a few days or maybe it’s that we’re nearly at 75% of our financial support (!) to actually leave for Vienna and God seems to be opening doors for us to leave in the early Fall.  And the closer we get, the more people ask about it and I talk about it, so it’s on my mind constantly.  Many things coupled together, I guess.

Anyhow, back to the flow chart - I’m in a rather “Overwhelmed But Not Able To Move/Act” phase.  I’m overwhelmed at the thought of going to the basement to reopen boxes, (which means revisiting the decisions of what to take, what to get rid of, what to store, etc).  I’m overwhelmed by the process of attempting to “leave well”, meaning, leaving my relationships well and what that looks like (I have this attacking thought that I’m going to disappoint people no matter what I do).  I’m overwhelmed by the details of all that we need to do before we go (documents to have in order, doctor’s visits, shipping decisions to make, etc).  These are just a few things swirling through my mind.

So, as in good Jodie-stressed-mode-like fashion, I’m paralyzed by these things and rather than just going to the basement and starting with one box, I stay upstairs in the less-chaotic area of the house and think about things like “what am I going to do with my photo albums?”

Please pray for me, if you’re a praying & believing-that-Jesus-can-help-me person, because even though this is not life or death  (it’s really very exciting - I’m really emotionally ready to go) — we’re still walking through new waters here in the next few months. I mean, it’s not every day that I’ve moved to a new country across the ocean.

And I’m trying to figure out what it means for me to walk this.  I’ve found myself wishing that I hadn’t formed new relationships this past year here in MD because it complicates my leaving (this is where I worry that I’m going to disappoint others), but I was recently been reminded by my mom and my good friend, Lori, that God has uniquely made me to be the person I am (one who can make relationships quickly), and that the person I am is who God is going to use in Vienna to settle in (hopefully) quickly and get into people’s lives quickly, as He opens that up for me.

Anyhow, blogging has seemed, you guess it: overwhelming.  I’m going to try to get back on track here and share some of my Flow Chart Moments with you as the summer goes by….